| LATE BREAKING NEWS |
DOW JONES MARKET |
| DATE LINE WASHINGTON |
CLOSING 1100 + 17 SHARES TRADED 1,289,854 |
| EARLY THIS MORNING FBI AGENTS SEIZED WHAT THEY CALLED THE LARGEST HAUL EVER OF COUNTERFEIT BUNNY HAIRS. OVER 2 TONS |
TODAY'S LEADER THE BUNNY CLUB (TBC) |
| ACCORDING TO A FBI OFFICIAL THE TRADE IN COUNTERFEIT BUNNY HAIRS IS ON THE RISE. DO MAINLY TO THEIR HIGH PRICE ON THE EUROPEAN MARKET |
IT WAS A RECORD BREAKING DAY FOR THE BUNNY CLUB. 90,000 SHARES EXCHANGED HANDS. CLOSING AT A NEW HIGH OF 375-1/2 PER SHARE. |
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ANNALISTS SAY IT SHOULD CONTINUE A HEALTHY GROWTH THROUGH THE 3/4 rd QUARTER OF THE YEAR. |
| IN THE CONTINUING BATTLE AGAINST CRIME THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT HAS CREATED A NEW AGENCY. THE B.E.A. (BUNNY ENFORCEMENT AGENCY) WHO'S PRIMARY PURPOSE IS TO CURB THE EVER INCREASING COUNTERFEIT BUNNY MARKET. |
EBAY |
| JUST THIS MORNING ALONE A TEAM OF CRACK BEA AGENTS RAIDED A COUNTERFEIT BUNNY TEE SHIRT OPERATION. ACCORDING TO THE BEA THIS WAS A MAJOR OPERATION, PRODUCING OVER A 1000 TEE SHIRTS PER DAY. MORE ARRESTS ARE EXPECTED TODAY. |
EBAY HAD A RECORD BREAKING AUCTION TODAY $1.205.355.30 FOR A PIECE OF PRIVATE HAIR FROM WILD THING |
| NEWS BULLETIN |
WHEN ASKED, WHY HE BID SO HIGH. BILL GATES OF MICROSOFT SAID HE JUST WANTED TO COMPLETE HIS COLLECTION OF BUNNY HAIRS. |
| IN WHAT HAS BEEN CALLED THE MOST HIDEOUS CRIME IN HISTORY. ISRAELI TERRORISTS HAVE TAKEN 14 BUNNY'S HOSTAGE AT THE INTERNATIONAL BUNNY BEACH SUMMER OLYMPICS. THEIR DEMANDS ARE NOT YET KNOWN. STAY TUNED FOR UPDATES. |
HE NOW HAS WHAT IS BELIEVED TO BE THE WORLDS ONLY COMPLETE COLLECTION. ESTIMATED TO BE WORTH IN THE MILLIONS. HE EVEN HAS A SWEETY HAIR OF EVERY FLAVOR. |
| THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA |
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| GOOD EVENING FELLOW AMERICANS. AT THIS VERY MOMENT THE U.S. PACIFIC FLEET IS HEADING FOR BUNNY BEACH. LET NO STONE BE UNTURNED, LET NO COST BE TOO GREAT. |
DATE LINE FRANCE |
| WE SHALL FIND AND RETURN OUR BUNNY'S TO THEIR HOMES. SAFE AND UNHARMED. |
A LA BUNNY (THE FRENCH BUNNY CLUB) REPORTED RECORD EARNINGS TODAY. THE INCREASE WAS ATTRIBUTED TO THEIR NEW LINE OF SEE THRU MICRO BIKINI'S |
| WAR BULLETIN |
DURING THE 2nd QUARTER OF THE YEAR A LA BUNNY IS EXPECTED TO INTRODUCE A FULL NEW LINE INCLUDING THEIR FLAVORED AND EATABLE BIKINI'S. |
| LAST NIGHT 30,000 MARINE SPECIAL FORCES LANDED AT BIKINI BEACH. 100 MILES NORTH OF BUNNY BEACH. THROUGHOUT THE NIGHT HEAVY NAVEL BOMBARDMENTS SHELLED THE BEACHES, TO CLEAR THE WAY FOR THE INVASION FORCES. INTENSE AIR STRIKES WILL CONTINUE THROUGHOUT THE DAY. |
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DATE LINE NEW YORK
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| MARINES TAKE BUNNY BEACH |
FBI RAIDS BUNNY CLUB. TBC STOCKS CRASH, DOWN 80 POINTS. |
| IN WHAT HAS BEEN HAILED AS THE MOST FAMOUS PHOTOGRAPH EVER TAKEN. 5 BRAVE SOLDERS UNDER HEAVY FIRE RAISED OUR FLAG AT BUNNY BEACH. CLICK HERE. |
MARIJUANA, PROSTITUTION, COUNTERFEITING, LOAN SHARKING, MONEY LAUNDERING. YOU NAME IT AND THESE GIRLS WERE RUNNING IT. WHAT AN OPERATION. |
| NEWS BULLETIN |
GRAND JURY INDICTS 9 BUNNY'S IN A 24 COUNT INDICTMENT. |
| ACCORDING TO PENTAGON SOURCES ALL 14 BUNNY'S ARE NOW SAFELY ABOARD THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER, USS FORESTALL. MILLIONS OF BUNNY FANS ARE POURING INTO NEW YORK HARBOR TO GREET THEM. |
CONGRESS PROBES BUNNY CLUB. STOCKS CONTINUE TO FALL, DOWN 12 MORE POINTS. CASE GOES TO TRIAL TODAY. AT THIS VERY MOMENT ALL 9 BUNNY'S HAVE GONE INTO THE JUDGES CHAMBER WITH HIM. |
| THE FAMOUS GUCCHIE FAMILY WILL SHOOT OFF 1 MILLION DOLLARS IN FIREWORKS AS THE CARRIER SAILS INTO HARBOR WITH THE BUNNY'S ON DECK WAIVING TO EVERYONE. |
WHAT SORT OF SECRET TESTIMONY ARE THEY GIVING HIM. THE WORLD WAITS |
| NEW YORK CITY PLANS A 3 DAY AND 3 NIGHT LONG PARTY ALONG WITH A TICKER TAPE PARADE UP BROADWAY |
NOT GUILTY ON ALL COUNTS |
| NEWS BULLETIN |
INTERVIEWER: I MUST ADMIT YOU GIRLS WERE GOOD. |
| MILITARY FORCES HAVE CAPTURED THE TERRORISTS. THEY ARE BEING TAKEN TO GERMANY FOR THEIR WAR TRIALS. "THE NUREMBERG BUNNY TRIALS". |
BUNNY: THANK YOU. THE JUDGE JUST SAID THE SAME THING. |
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INTERVIEWER: WHAT DO YOU THINK THE JUDGE WILL DO IF THIS HAPPENS AGAIN ? |
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BUNNY: WHY DON'T YOU ASK HIM, HE WILL BE AT THE PARTY TONIGHT. |
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